Raging Minotaur

Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura, 2009.  AHHHHHH Asian cinema.  I find there are two kinds of Asian horror films.  The first is an extremely well written, brilliantly crafted story, with twists and disturbing imaginary.  The second is well written but absolutely insane and so over the top that it’s almost too much for our American brains to comprehend.  This film is the latter.  Before the opening credits role there is more blood and gore then in the entirety of most American films.  With in the first ten minutes there is a scene containing excessive black face, and I mean excessive black face.  There is a black face club where the members dance around while playing tribal drums chanting yes we can, and saying black power.  They want to be the best at the 100 yard dash, and have gigantic lips and African tribal rings.  This stuff would even be considered over the top in the South during the civil war.  There is also a wrist cutting club that is both pointless and hilarious.  And of course the entire movie contains a ton of violence.

Japanese films are the strangest and goriest in the entire universe.  This film is no exception.  Some prime examples are Vampire Girl tearing a hole in a girls face and unraveling her skin like the wrappings on a mummy, a reanimated foot-hand creature, blood drops which each have their own lives, Frankenstein Girl tearing off an arm, screwing it onto her head and using it as a helicopter propeller to zip around through the sky (she also does the same with a pair of legs), a wrist cutting rally and botched attempts at reconfigured and reanimated corpses.  This type of Asian horror is also ripe with comedic value.  VG vs. FG is the most violent slapstick comedy of all time.  It’s hilarious and never, ever boring.  I mean there is never a dull moment.  Only an Asian film maker could jam so much action into under an hour and a half.

The negatives are that the film had a low budget, so some of the grandiose violence scenes are not as well done as they could be.  This leads to some cheap looking CGI effects that take away for the overall experience.  But this film is still incredibly gory, in fact for the first time that I can remember it is so gory that the masses of humanity aren’t even anatomically correct after the carnage has occurred.  It is straight violence.  Additionally, I won’t ruin it but the parts that make up Frankenstein girl are absolutely hilarious.  And the finally battle really has to be seen to be believed; Americans just can’t come up with this stuff.  Truly epic… and ridiculous but a tremendous amount of fun.  The fun factor ultimately overshadows how outlandish the entire movie is, and provides for an enjoyable, all be it head scratching at times, cinematic experience.

Review by R.M.

Directed by Michael and Peter Spierig, 2009.  I’m skeptical of any vampire movie these days because the genre is so played out and lame.  I had higher hopes for this film because it had several elements that I hadn’t seen in vampire films before.  It started out pretty good, good cinematography, good story idea, and good actors.  Unfortunately it went all Hollywood and down hill from there.

In the year 2019, a plague has transformed most every human into vampires.  Faced with a dwindling blood supply, the fractured dominant race plots their survival; meanwhile, a researcher works with a covert band of vampires on a way to save humankind.  There are also some vampires who choose to drink other vampires blood because they are so hungry, but this turns them into very painful bat like creatures that attack everything.  This is something I had never seen before, a type pf cannibal vampire that would eventually turn into a hideous crazed monster because of its actions.  Sounds promising and it started out that way.  However about 30 minutes into the film it gets straight Hollywood.  A Stupid plot, unrealistic story, and a cheesy love angle.  I wouldn’t expect anything less from this current and unexplained vampire craze.  The heroes’ solution to turn vampires back into humans is ridiculous, and the ending is pretty annoying.  It just gets really stupid and bad.

The only real plus to this movie is that it is a real R vampire film, and doesn’t skimp on blood or gore like so many Hollywood vamp films do.  That I will give this film, and William Defoe drives some really cool cars, and of course William Defoe.  Other than that, piss poor.

Review by R.M.

Directed by Clive Barker, 1987.  Clive Barker began this franchise at a time when horror was dominated by slasher films, zombie films or Nightmare on Elm Streets.  This film is different.  You actually have to pay attention to this one, and you will want to.  This film is about raw feelings such as pain and pleasure, and the epitome of human desires and emotions.  This film had the same type of effect on the public in the 80’s as the original Nightmare on Elm Street.  It was something new and scarier, the likes of which the film going community was not used too.

A man and his second wife move into an old house and discover a hideous creature – the man’s half-brother, who is also the woman’s former lover – hiding upstairs. Having lost his earthly body to a trio of S&M demons, the Cenobites, he is brought back into existence by a drop of blood on the floor.  He soon forces his former mistress to bring him his necessary human sacrifices to restore his body.  This movie is grotesque, and watching it in Blu ray you realize how amazing the make-up and special effects are.  At the time it received an X rating, I think more for subject matter then for actual gore levels or sexuality.  More importantly this film was not a duplicate or even a slight rip-off of anything that had been done before.  This shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise because it was adapted from a Clive Barker novel, Hellbound.  Anyone who has read his novels is aware of his dark genius, which is on the level of Stephen King, but surpasses him on the topics of dark and disturbing concepts.

Hellraiser also has the added plus of really good acting, and characters.  The cenobites are legendary and with good reason because they are truly nightmarish.  The cenobites, however, are overshadowed by pinhead, one of the titans in the horror movie world.  His character is truly horrifying, and so is the story which is full of subplots and cautionary sexual tales.  Hellraiser is a horror film, not a campy slasher or something meant for a mass audience.  It is unrelenting in both its gore and its message.  A must see for all true horror fans!

Review by R.M.